A little sad today

Sorry I have been a little quiet these past few days my friends, I have spent a couple of days with a very close friend who I met around 36 years ago she was my bridesmaid and I’m godmother to her son we are always there for each other.

On Friday her father passed away I have very loving memories of him over the years. My heartaches for her loss she was extremely close to her Dad and I feel her pain so very much. These past few days we have cried together and reminisced about happy memories of time spent on holidays with her family. My friend has been such an inspiration for me during some tragedies of my own, leaving her was very emotional for me I just wanted to hold onto her and yet I knew I couldn’t, that no matter how heartbroken we are we need time to ourselves.

Yet coming home unleashed some very raw feelings that I know have been building up inside of me. I felt crushed and broke down unable to pull myself together like I normally do, past memories started flooding back and no matter how hard I tried  I couldn’t stop the tears.

Eleven months ago I lost my beautiful sister to cancer something I know I will never recover from. Each day I struggle with not seeing or touching her again, I miss spending time with her and sharing all life’s events we planned for the future, laughing and talking about our children and grandchildren going for lunch shopping together, I miss everything about her. My sister was the bravest person I have ever known not once did she ever complain through this painful hideous disease that ripped her life from under her. Even towards the end as frail as she became her beautiful face would smile at me, touch my hand and say “it’s ok everything will be alright”.

Although I knew our time together would be limited I prayed and hoped for a little miracle that somehow someone would make her well again.  There will always be a piece of my heart that only belongs to her, I’m grateful I had the time to tell her what an honour it has been to love and share my life with her. We laid my sister to rest with our Mother I have a very strong belief that they are now together, I know I will always miss them both so very much.

My family have been my strength these past months and I know in my heart I could not have come so far without their love and understanding. I guess I have to accept that some days, for whatever the reason or for no reason at all, It will be hard to cope with the loss of my Mother and sister, than others days, I think today has been one of those days.

I’m thankful for all of you here too my friends for helping me, through your lovely visits and comments. When I open my blog and see you here with me it always makes me smile, I love being a little part of your world and want you to know how much I appreciate your time and friendship.  

From my heart to yours, thanks for letting me share today with you!

Always Love In Wendy’s World